You know, we’re supposed to make things happened.

Remember when we first met? You asked me for a beer. You was the only one that proposed me to do such crime while we haven’t yet be a student for a week. Damn. Less than a week and we both committed crime by drunk ourselves out of our dormitory room. Along with that brave Indian comrade.

Of course it kinda funny. To found that we both came from a country where communism is something forbidden and none topics shall be discussed about it. But three of us still ended our nights by debating and arguing one to another about Marxism, Leninism, the failure and nightmare of Stalinism and current updates about Maoism guerrilla struggles in Asia.

Do you know that I fell in love with you, intellectually that night?

And wondering how smart you was? You was sleeping all the time but still managed to keep up with all the reading materials and still was the smartest one within our class. You was there to help two of us while we both were still dealing with our drunken problems.

Did you ever know that many girls within our class fell in love with you?

Yes. They asked both of us in many occasion about you. Are you having someone next to you or whether you in relationship with anyone. You was single all those years but never aimed to get any benefits from these girls. You gained my respect since that.

A guy who dedicate himself to be a learner and devoted readers. Enthusiast workers and anthropologist.

Remember when we drunk at the Thai restaurant? When you had to deal with Sandeep all by yourself because I was too drunk as well? It was funny, though. I still can remember how you was so angry with me the next day simply because I left you alone to deal with the drunken comrade? Funny to remember how as communists we still fell before the alcohol.

Do you know that you was a bad chef?

You never cooked foods well. No one can eat you cooking to be honest. We both tried it, but we cant lie that no one gonna miss you foods. You were supposed to learn more about it. You promised me before. Now you just left void behind.

You made lots of promised for someone who gonna leave me early.

Remember one day, you said that you’re going to be my proof reader? I sent you half dozen of my new writings in order to get your comments. But damn you. You haven’t finished it and our joint upcoming works supposed to be our time to discuss about it. You lied to me and others by left us with sad and empty feeling.


You told me before that one day, we will work together more after you get promoted. But how can one promoted a dead body, you damn asshole? How could I work with strangers simply because I signed the contract prior to our talk?

Never thought that you are going to betrayed me like this.

You promised me once. We are going to ride bike together from China to Cambodia. To be young once again, and hit the road by getting ourselves out. You told me that we’re going to finished different kind of beers all over Southeast Asia because no history better that alcohol. You promised me that we will watch sunset in many different countries together with Sandeep. After this funny guy finished his PhD.

Remember that we both rejected an idea of having PhD before 32? So why now you left me even before you got your 35?

Do you think it’s funny? To know about you left me behind from an email sent by someone that never met me in person? Do you think is it fair to found out that you was so stupid riding a motorbike without having your glasses? Come on, dude. We both knows that your eyes are so badly injured. We need glasses simply because we both desperately need it. Not because we’re wanted to looks like smart guys.

You and me, simply just wanted a normal life. Far away from all those kind of social prejudices that commonly imposed upon people.

I did not like your idea of getting old and have a reunion when we all turned 50. It’s ridiculous idea I thought. But now, I do simply wanted to see your face when you got 50. Your ugly face when you were old and tired. When your kids were getting into their teenage life and we both only can cheer them from a distance.

Damn. Tonight, I do really miss you.

To remember all those time we spent together as a young Asian students. Crawling our paths to be an anthropologists where life can be spend out there in the field. Meet with different groups of people and listening to their stories. Maybe we can put those into one or two story, along with their permission. As long as our happiness and the community blesses upon us.

You supposed to be my guide when we hit Latin America next year. I am working on it. Saving money as much as I could to see what are the differences between Chile, Argentine and Brazil. To hit Amazon and then taking pictures together over there.

But now, you just left me behind alone with all those shits.

Unfair! You just a liar. You left me behind without notifying me about you going to left this world forever. You did not tell me anything. It is unfair from any kind of point of views. You supposed to be with me next couple weeks. We’re shall have our best time together. As friends, as comrades, as drunker.

Left me behind and let others to tell me about you, never been good for me. It wasn’t and will not ever be good for me.

So, get rest you asshole. Gonna meet you there soon. Adios!