“Are you planning to ask me to move to Jakarta?”
“No. It just an offer. It’s up to you.” We just finished to have dinner in Kemang. This is our first dinner in this city. She arrived two days ago and finally I was able to take her out and having our time together.
“It’s unfair. You said that you will move there with me. You said that Jakarta is not a good place for us to raise our children. You told me that you fell in love with my hometown and willing to move with me. Remember? You said that you can easily start over your life and work there. Why you suddenly changed your mind?”
“No. I haven’t changed my mind yet. It just an option. You can say or no. But maybe, you can consider it. I have good work here and everything goes well here. I think it’s worth to try. You can find a job here. Some people are willing to help you to find teaching opportunity at some international schools.”
“Wow. Hold for a second. You asked people around to find for me a job without asking me first?”
I was surprised. Never thought that she will responded differently.
“Why you did not say anything first before made you move? Since when you made a decision about us without talk with me in the first place? It’s unfair.” She’s angry.
“I planned to discuss it with you before you leave. I just wanted you to see around first and maybe it can help to make up your mind. We dont have to stay here forever. Just for a couple years before we moved permanently to your country. I can work here first, save some money and later we can open our business there. I am having a very good chance here. Just hoping that you can see it from my side.”
“Can we just go back? I need to take a rest.” She raised her hand. Sending sign for a bill.
“How about movie? You said that you wanted to see a movie?”
“Nope. No movie for tonight. I just want to go back. Can I?” She staring at me. She looks unhappy.
“OK. We will go back.” I pulled out my wallet. It’s time to go.
* * *
“It’s been two years, Dad. When you will move back and stay here? You said that it wont take more than two years. Do not tell me that you are going to stay for another year over there.”
“I need to be here. At least, for another two years. I cant leave my office now. I am doing really well. They gives me a space and opportunities for me to learn more and grow up intellectually.”
“What? Are you lost your mind? Another two years? Wow, Andre. Such a perfect plan for us. Nice.” I knew she will get angry when heard about it.
For sure, she’s angry now. That’s why she called me by my name. She always did that every single time I made her lost her mind.
“How if you take a hundred years to stay there? You can have all the spaces and opportunities without worrying about me or our relationship. You can pursue your dreams without distraction. I can stay aside and wait another hundred years if you want more.”
That was sarcastic. Never thought that she will mad as hell.
“You can find anywhere and you will found that there is no relationship like us. You are living your life there in your country and I need to struggle by my own here in my country. A couple that having separate life and only met every two or three months. A relationship where each of us is having our own line. Do you think it will last forever?”
“I know. I am trying my best to find a solution for us.”
“Trying your best? Wow. I am sorry if I am questioning your efforts to find the solution. Because if I am not wrong, it’s been years. You tried for more than two years but I could not see any progress so far.”
I lost words. Did not know what to say.
“You will need more than five years to be honest. No need to hide anything. I know you are having a good time with your work and I am happy for you. It shows that you are doing the right things. But you have to see things from my side. Do you think it’s easy for me to have life separated far from you?”
I was trying to hold her hand, but she refused.
“People are asking me, where are you and when you are going to move here. I will not have children while you still there in Indonesia. It’s not fair for me if you put everything upon me and expecting me to deal by my own. The relationship is about two people. You and me.”
“But we still have plenty of time. We still can enjoy our time together first, before we have children.” I was trying to cool things down.
“Plenty of time? Oh, once again you’re correct and it was me who made mistakes. So, it’s me who failed to understand about you? About your dreams? About your goals?”
“So two years did not enough for you? You want more? I can give you a hundred years if you wanted it.” She finished the sentence with eyes that looked puffy with tears.
“No. Two years will be enough. Gimme a couple months to prepare everything. I will quit my job and moved here. Permanently.” I pull her closer and hug her.
She must be tired. In the last two years, her energy must have been dried out to maintain this relationship. She tried her best. So, now my turn to lift her up.
* * *
A couple years after, I was doing another research in West Papua when her email reached me.
“To be honest, I need time to rethink about everything. No need to come here. You can stay there and keep doing your work. I will do mine. Maybe this is the best option for two of us. Goodbye, Dad.”